United Airlines' Unfriendly Skies

I like to think that bicycle-friendly cities and establishments are met with admiration and appreciation. While businesses that put out dog drinking water bowls on the sidewalk may get the nod from dog-owners, bicycle friendliness is a progressive act with environmental benefits.
Prior to my last trip back to NYC, my bicycle gang shipped a padded bicycle bag so that I could ride again. LAX long term parking drops me off at United Airlines with my bicycle bag. So far so good. United Airlines charges me $175 to check in my bicycle—that’s for one way. That's more than the ticket for my seat. With my car miles away in a lot, I am stuck at the check-in counter with a bicycle. I can’t bring it back to my car or lock it up at the airport, but if I do bring it, it will cost me $350. As I’m calculating this crisis in my head, the mean old UA staff that issued the ticket harrumphs at me for deliberating my financial demise. He gives me the number for a courier company that might hold it over the weekend for a couple hundred bucks. A younger UA employee pitied me and talked to his pals in baggage that agreed to watch and store my bicycle for free. I tipped the nice young man enough money for a 6-pack.
Guess who else charges $175 for bicycles? Other shitty airlines that don’t give a shit, like Delta Airlines. It’s clearly a penalizing deterrent to justify bad service. United.com site provides links to Fedex encouraging you to ship your luggage ahead of you. Certainly more convenient for United but how is that more convenient for me? What’s a fair price? I understand most airlines charge $20 for each checked baggage. Bicycles with case should weigh less than 50 pounds but they are a bit more difficult to handle. I think $50 is fair. And so does JetBlue and Virgin America.
If United Airlines was a motorist, he would be an old curmudgeon in a polluting Pontiac clunker. Instead of honking and high-beaming at cyclists like motorists tend to typically do, he pins cyclists against a tree at the knees. Unsatisfied with the helpless nature of the cyclist, United pulls down the cyclist’s pants then has a sidewalk sale to sell salvaged bike parts from the wreckage.

Paperless airline eBitching

Blogging live from SFO, the birthplace and haven of Verdantic. Getting back to NYC looks doubtful due to inclement weather on both ends. 4 flights from SFO-JFK have been canceled today but my flight in from Shanghai was thankfully rather uneventful. Nonetheless, I hate United Airlines. On both flights across the Pacific, we were informed over the intercom, “we will be serving a light lunch followed by a beverage, then followed by a light dinner.” Verdantic is all for smaller portions, dietary restraints and anti-obesity, but being hungry, trapped and staring at a mayonnaise sandwich and some shitty snacks is not okay. I also was bereft of my Economy Plus ticket and thrown into Economy. They didn’t budge when I spoke to them in Mandarin so I left and came back as a foreigner--clobbering them with English words and gestures until I got my Economy Plus ticket back.
Verdantic is not the letter writing type because I can get over things and not hold a grudge. Plus, writing letters is a waste of paper, unlike this web address printed on my boarding pass: GIVE FEEDBACK – WWW.UALSURVEY.COM. That’s a great way to make letter-writers to put away their watermarked letterhead stationery--full of plight--addressed to United’s CEO. It saves time and it has a lighter carbon footprint. On the other hand, there’s Verdantic and I promise that I will only abuse the privilege of this blog just this once. So, I hope the Groundswell monitoring operatives at United Airlines technorati-searches and finds this bit of consumer opinion and insight: United Airlines, you stink!